There can be many good reasons to start reviewing online personals sites. You can be looking for relationships, friendships or for casual dates, amongst others. Although casual dating sometimes gets a bad reputation from more conservative factions, it’s a preferred dating type by people who aren’t interested in a long-term relationship or don’t have any time to invest into one, but still don’t want to deny themselves the joys of sex. When you’re considering trying casual dating for the first time, you might feel a little overwhelmed by how different it is from traditional dating at times.
Although it’s common to meet your next potential sex partner in person before deciding where to go, very much like on a date, you don’t talk about the same things as you would on a traditional date. Both of you are trying to figure out how attracted you are to each other and how compatible you are in bed. You aren’t planning anything beyond that, so your date isn’t mainly about what a great person you are on the long run. It’s a temporary agreement. This means that you can actually talk about the wrong thing on a casual date. Of course it’s beneficial if you at least enjoy each other’s company, but there are topics that, while partially ok on a traditional date, will ruin your chances. For example, the following:
Nobody Should Know the Trouble You’ve Seen
As pointed out, there are various reasons for choosing casual dating for yourself. You can share these reasons with friends, should they know and maybe even ask why you’re going through online personals sites reviews, if they come across your search history while borrowing your phone. Whatever your reasons, if you have any bar just wanting sex with no strings attached, they are what they are, good or bad. But that still doesn’t mean that you should necessarily share them with your casual date in person. It’s a common topic for casual dating, since it’s something both parties share. However, it acts mostly as an opener and is less about what exactly led you to your decision. You’ll most likely only know the woman you’re talking to for a few hours, a few days at most. Having you pour out your heart to them is the last thing on their priority list. They want sex and that’s it. If you want more attention, then you should find someone else. Check our comparison of sites on personals dating and read the personals website reviews to find a likeminded partner.
Keeping the conversation topics light and relatively superficial is important for casual dating, because they can set or ruin the mood for sex. By starting to explain that you just came out of a long relationship or that your job is taking up all your dating time, you’re taking the conversation into deep waters usually reserved for people you see on a regular basis. Your date will assume that you want to add them to this list of people, which could imply the next topic you should avoid:
The Dreaded ‘L’ Word
And it isn’t lesbians or latest music import from London or Canada. Casual dating and love are often implied to go hand in hand by romantic comedies, but in reality, it’s something that rarely happens. The main reason why people choose to date casually is to avoid love, not to find it by having sex so often with someone that sexual attraction starts to magically turn into emotional attraction. It’s actually even rarer to have sex with a casual date more often than a handful of times. People looking for reviews of sites for online personals aren’t using the search query ‘love’. If they were, they would be landing on dating sites. Those who are looking for love on personals sites will let you know relatively soon.
When you’re out to meet the woman you’re planning on taking the next step of casual dating with, one of the worst things you can do is to talk about love with her. Love is not only a very private topic, but it’s also fairly easy to jump to strange conclusions when you talk about it with her. Because it’s a topic you seem to want to talk about, it will appear as something that’s important to you – meaning it is something you’re interested in pursuing. Even if you aren’t or if you’ve become a victim of love at first sight, the topic alone will make your date ask herself if you’re just using casual dating as a pretense. If love comes up, try to change the direction of the conversation. If you want to pursue a romantic relationship with her, take things slowly, so that she can warm up to the idea. Try to meet her more often and start building something like a friendship with benefits to get to know her better. This can give you a better understanding of how to break the topic of a romantic relationship to her.
Never To Be Fulfilled Prophecies
It may be hard to believe, but there is actually a topic that can call forth even worse reactions than love from your date. This topic doesn’t only imply that there’s love somewhere on the way, but that there’s so much attachment that you’ve started making plans. Whatever your date’s reasons for choosing casual dating, considering a shared future with you is not it, especially not if you’re meeting for the first time. Actually, this is not even a topic for a first date period, no matter what. Although there are women who break this rule and we’ve all heard about them, or worse yet, have gotten to know one, do both of you a favor and try not to even think about it.
Most obviously, it’s a cardinal sin of casual dating to talk about a shared future and you are smart enough to know that. But even comments you aren’t intending to imply a shared future could make your date wonder about your true intentions. It could be an innocent compliment about her being a very warm and caring person. Throw in the word ‘motherly’ and she’ll start wondering if you’re fantasizing about her being the mother of her children. Of course, not all woman are that way, but considering that you just briefly know each other, you should better play safe. Should the two of you really land on the topic of future plans, talk about your job or places you’d like to visit. Saying you want a family could be interpreted wrongly.
Though this advice may sound like you could ruin your chances with a woman on a casual date easily, it really isn’t. During a casual date, you’ll even find yourself being more forgiving of certain things that would usually irk you. Having no strings attached is what saves the day. What you should avoid though is sticking to the aforementioned topics like glue, or continually returning to them – that will just make her exasperated with you. In the case of you accidentally reaching one of the topics above, don’t draw attention to it and carefully steer into safer conversation waters. Talk about what brought you together on a date in the first place, instead. Talk about all things sex. You’ll find that will put both of you in the right mood to quit talking and get to what you both want.